Thursday, November 23, 2006
Before and In Progress
We have a weekly newsletter at work, and they did an article on me and my Losers Club team. I'm happy with the changes that I've seen in my physical appearance over the past couple of years. The tummy tuck and breast reduction helped, but I have a long way to go. Below are my "Before" and "In Progress" pics. Please don't make fun of my body builder pose from the current pic.
Sunday, November 12, 2006
Who I Am vs. Who I Want To Be
I had a revelation yesterday. In order to understand completely, I should probably fill you in on some background info first...
Since the big split in the Gaines household, I've actually found time for myself! This may seem very simple, but I had gone so long taking care of my husband, kids, stepson, and grandma-in-law (who lived with us) in addition to working a bazillion hours a week that I forgot to care of me. So for the past 8 months, I've enjoyed the fun stuff...my stuff...the things I wanted to do. My girls and I would spend every other weekend visiting some of the best hole-in-a-wall bars to sing, dance, socialize, and flirt. It was the life! I met a ton of great people and reconnected with a few old faces.
So, this weekend, Georgette and I took a road trip to Indy to catch a Hinder concert. It was amazing, and I realized that G cannot ever chew gum in a general admission/standing room only type of concert. That poor girl will never get that gum out of her hair...anyway...
This particular part of Indy is close to a few colleges, and there were clubs in every direction as far as you could see. After we rocked out, we decided to hit the club that T.C. (the bouncer that we shamelessly flirted with to get the best view of the concert) recommended. Peppers was a really cool place, and they were playing great dance music. G and I took a seat on a couch by the entrance to do our usual people-watching, and after a few minutes, we realized that average age of the club-goers was 21. We felt old. We decided to cut out early around 1 a.m., grabbed some late night fast food, and finally retired to our cheap hotel room to catch some z's. We drove home the next day, shopped at the outlet mall, worked out at the company gym, and planned on hitting the big city of Louisville that night. All was well. Before I left work, I needed to grab my laptop. I thought I would log in and catch up on my e-mails, and low and behold, I felt compelled to do this "personality" survey that Jessie had sent out.
The results were eye-opening. Go ahead and take a look, and then I will share my revelation.
Take Free Advanced Global Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com
Well, we all know that I am extroverted and dominating, so that's nothing new. But, I was shocked at all of the categories that I scored high in related to being "into myself". Am I really self absorbed and care only about my feelings and needs? Do I use my looks to get what I want? Is that really who I am or who I want to portray?
I recently had a person that I admire and trust more than most people in my life say three things to me (in three separate conversations)...
1.) You act younger than you are.
-and-
2.) You are too blunt, and should learn to be more subtle.
-and-
3.) People think you are so confident, but you really are unsure of yourself.
Those statements coupled with the results from my survey kicked me in to self-analysis overdrive. I decided that it was true that I was living a little too wildly and running too much. While I live for my kids, this whole equal time sharing crap with Rob isn't cutting it. I realized that maybe the reason that I am so anti-romantic could stem from the fact that I want to appear strong and fearless, but deep down I'm afraid of letting go and becoming emotionally attached to someone, only to have my feelings trampled on. Maybe the reason that I am attracted to younger men is because I don't really want someone who will hold me accountable for being an adult. Maybe the reason that I look for blue-collar guys is because I don't want to have to compete with someone who may be more intellectual than me. I might not want to be attached because I don't want to get hurt.
I decided that it is time for me to finally grow up. I still am holding steadfast that I never, ever want to get married again, but it probably is time to move into pursuing some healthier relationships with the opposite sex. I don't know...going on a date sounds nice. Carrying a "thinking" conversation with someone is a novel idea.
The weather is also an influence on this change of heart. During the summer, everybody is wild and crazy, and then when it gets colder, it feels good to stay in and cuddle with someone special. Dang the winter!!!
So, I decided to wear a "Soccer-Momesque" sweater and dress slacks out Saturday night, and I forced Georgette and Faith into going to the "Wrinkle Ranch" a.k.a. Jim Porter's to have some adult fun (minus the time spent shaking our butts on the dancefloor). I felt happy to have done some "grown-up" things on my no-kids weekend, but it is still a work in progress. Georgette has assured me that being an adult doesn't mean I have to lose my personality, humor, and goofiness. I might just have to be funny during a rowdy game of Scattegories or Trivial Pursuit rather than Strip Poker or Kings.
Now, I'm on a mission to fill my no-kids weekends with some adult-ish fun. I'm thinking blues bars or Salsa dancing. Maybe when Beth and Josh move back they will bring some social coordination to the church scene. As long as they don't throw "Couples Only" get-togethers, it's on like Donkey Kong.
I need to check with Georgette to see if I can still say "It's on like Donkey Kong" as an adult. I certainly hope so. It's a staple phrase in my vocabulary.
Since the big split in the Gaines household, I've actually found time for myself! This may seem very simple, but I had gone so long taking care of my husband, kids, stepson, and grandma-in-law (who lived with us) in addition to working a bazillion hours a week that I forgot to care of me. So for the past 8 months, I've enjoyed the fun stuff...my stuff...the things I wanted to do. My girls and I would spend every other weekend visiting some of the best hole-in-a-wall bars to sing, dance, socialize, and flirt. It was the life! I met a ton of great people and reconnected with a few old faces.
So, this weekend, Georgette and I took a road trip to Indy to catch a Hinder concert. It was amazing, and I realized that G cannot ever chew gum in a general admission/standing room only type of concert. That poor girl will never get that gum out of her hair...anyway...
This particular part of Indy is close to a few colleges, and there were clubs in every direction as far as you could see. After we rocked out, we decided to hit the club that T.C. (the bouncer that we shamelessly flirted with to get the best view of the concert) recommended. Peppers was a really cool place, and they were playing great dance music. G and I took a seat on a couch by the entrance to do our usual people-watching, and after a few minutes, we realized that average age of the club-goers was 21. We felt old. We decided to cut out early around 1 a.m., grabbed some late night fast food, and finally retired to our cheap hotel room to catch some z's. We drove home the next day, shopped at the outlet mall, worked out at the company gym, and planned on hitting the big city of Louisville that night. All was well. Before I left work, I needed to grab my laptop. I thought I would log in and catch up on my e-mails, and low and behold, I felt compelled to do this "personality" survey that Jessie had sent out.
The results were eye-opening. Go ahead and take a look, and then I will share my revelation.
Advanced Global Personality Test Results
|
personality tests by similarminds.com
Well, we all know that I am extroverted and dominating, so that's nothing new. But, I was shocked at all of the categories that I scored high in related to being "into myself". Am I really self absorbed and care only about my feelings and needs? Do I use my looks to get what I want? Is that really who I am or who I want to portray?
I recently had a person that I admire and trust more than most people in my life say three things to me (in three separate conversations)...
1.) You act younger than you are.
-and-
2.) You are too blunt, and should learn to be more subtle.
-and-
3.) People think you are so confident, but you really are unsure of yourself.
Those statements coupled with the results from my survey kicked me in to self-analysis overdrive. I decided that it was true that I was living a little too wildly and running too much. While I live for my kids, this whole equal time sharing crap with Rob isn't cutting it. I realized that maybe the reason that I am so anti-romantic could stem from the fact that I want to appear strong and fearless, but deep down I'm afraid of letting go and becoming emotionally attached to someone, only to have my feelings trampled on. Maybe the reason that I am attracted to younger men is because I don't really want someone who will hold me accountable for being an adult. Maybe the reason that I look for blue-collar guys is because I don't want to have to compete with someone who may be more intellectual than me. I might not want to be attached because I don't want to get hurt.
I decided that it is time for me to finally grow up. I still am holding steadfast that I never, ever want to get married again, but it probably is time to move into pursuing some healthier relationships with the opposite sex. I don't know...going on a date sounds nice. Carrying a "thinking" conversation with someone is a novel idea.
The weather is also an influence on this change of heart. During the summer, everybody is wild and crazy, and then when it gets colder, it feels good to stay in and cuddle with someone special. Dang the winter!!!
So, I decided to wear a "Soccer-Momesque" sweater and dress slacks out Saturday night, and I forced Georgette and Faith into going to the "Wrinkle Ranch" a.k.a. Jim Porter's to have some adult fun (minus the time spent shaking our butts on the dancefloor). I felt happy to have done some "grown-up" things on my no-kids weekend, but it is still a work in progress. Georgette has assured me that being an adult doesn't mean I have to lose my personality, humor, and goofiness. I might just have to be funny during a rowdy game of Scattegories or Trivial Pursuit rather than Strip Poker or Kings.
Now, I'm on a mission to fill my no-kids weekends with some adult-ish fun. I'm thinking blues bars or Salsa dancing. Maybe when Beth and Josh move back they will bring some social coordination to the church scene. As long as they don't throw "Couples Only" get-togethers, it's on like Donkey Kong.
I need to check with Georgette to see if I can still say "It's on like Donkey Kong" as an adult. I certainly hope so. It's a staple phrase in my vocabulary.
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