Ms. Allen's Adventures

Shawn Bowen...You Can Help!!!

2008-10-05T15:46:00.004-04:00

I just found out that an dear, old friend of mine (Justin Bowen) recently received news that his 5 year old son has leukemia. Please go to this site to check out more and donate to help cover medical/family expenses...

Shawn is absolutely precious!

http://shawnbowen.net/

Cara

Do I Hear Wedding Bells?

2008-07-29T21:43:00.003-04:00

Saturday night, my mom's boyfriend Scott Francis proposed.

Congrats, Momma!

Jessie and I are busy planning the wedding/reception for the immediate families.

I'll miss my mom when she moves out. She's been the best wife/husband I've ever had by taking care of the grass/landscaping, cooking, cleaning, babysitting...okay, now I've just made myself depressed. :)

Recent Fun Stuff

2008-07-27T19:36:00.007-04:00

Jessie and I took took the kids to the Clark County 4-H Fair. Jessie convinced Landon to do stupid things each time that they passed me. In the picture below, they are picking their noses. I have never been prouder of my son.

This year Lauren was tall enough to ride the slide by herself. Last year, we convinced the ride operator that my 16 year old niece Tyler was Lauren's mom so that they could ride together. I'm not brave enough to go down that thing!!!

We spent most of today at Poppy's house. Poppy is Jessie's Dad, Dexter. It's a Sunday routine to stop in to visit with Dexter and Elaine and eat a little lunch and let the kiddos to play.

This one cracks me up! All three kids played in a baby pool with about two inches of water. They can have fun anywhere, anytime.

We decided to take the Gator down to the creek to play in the water. Landon was scared to death from the bumpy ride down the hill.

Lauren and Maggie found a turtle. They named her "Sandy".

Landon decided to take a quick pit stop to pee in the swimming hole. Nature calls sometimes, ya know. :) His favorite thing is peeing outside. Must be a "Boy Thing", because he certainly didn't learn this from me.

Jessie was convinced she could catch the big fish that was swimming a little part of the creek.

She was right. How GROSS!!! Her nails look pretty, though.

If I look surprised, it's because Landon is trying to crawl between my legs while Lauren, Sandy, and I pose for our picture.

This is my favorite picture from the day. How cute is that boy?

It's True Love!!!

2008-07-16T20:39:00.003-04:00

I love the Jonas Brothers! I'm not ashamed! My heart belongs to Joe Jonas (he's 18, so that's okay).

Another Medical Mystery

2008-07-11T23:30:00.002-04:00

I admit it. I have a hot doctor. While I do adore visiting him, I'm ready to be well. Here are the details the latest health issue...

Wednesday night after work I picked up some balloons and fixins for my cubicle life partner's (Robin) 40th birthday. Along with Landon, Maggie, and Lauren, I went back to work to decorate her desk. While blowing up the balloons, I noticed that my lips felt a little funny. Then I noticed that I was talking a little weird. Then I looked in the mirror, and they were swollen! I figured that I must be allergic to the latex or the powder in the balloons. No big deal, right?

The next morning I woke and my eyes were completely bloodshot and sore. I went on in to work, put in some Visine A (for allergies) eye drops, and continued on about my day. When this didn't resolve the issue, I decided to make an appointment with Dr. Hoke. (I could have gotten an earlier appointment with the other doctor at the practice, but I was willing to wait for Dr. McDreamy.)

He looked at my eyes while I told him about the balloon incident. He felt like that while I probably did have an allergic reaction to something in the balloons, I might also have an infection in at least one, if not both eyes. I asked if he had put a hex on me, since I've been soooo sick since starting to see him, and he said he did have a house payment to make. :) Cute and funny...SWEET!

Armed with my prescription eye drops, I went on about my evening as normal.

When I woke up this morning, my eyes were almost swollen shut. They were ultra swollen (including below my eyes), gunky, and hurt pretty bad.

I'm doing much better now, but my eyes still hurt and are red. The girls at work have treated me like I am diseased, and the anti-bacterial hand gel is a-flowing! In fact, I told Beth Spencer that when she is on vacation next week, I'm gonna rub my eyes all over her desk so that she can catch "the eye funk". :)

Jessie wanted me to join her for dinner tonight along with some coworkers from out of town, but I feel really ugly because of my disease-ridden eyes, plus my tummy hurts really bad from the missing gallbladder. I decided to stay home, and just hide my face from the outside world. I really miss my liquid eyeliner and mascara. I'm just not the same without it. :)

Great News! I'm Alive!

2008-07-03T00:45:00.002-04:00

The surgery to remove my gallbladder went well on Monday. The doctor had a tough time getting to my gallbladder, so he had to open up an extra hole in my tummy, so I have 5 cuts instead of the normal 4. I have been ultra sore for the past few days (not tummy tuck sore, but it still hurts even so). Today I felt well enough to go with Jessie to her doctor's appointment. Dr. French looked at my belly, and assured me that everything looks like it is healing well. That was a big relief!

I can't drive because of the pain medication, so I'm relying on Jessie and Mom to tote me around. I'm hoping that Jessie will take me to Sam's tomorrow, so I can pick up some last minute ingredients for all of the goodies I will be making for Matt's birthday. Jessie's boyfriend, Matt turned 30 on July 2nd, and we are going to her Dad's on Friday to celebrate. It should be fun. I can't wait to go for a ride in the Gator and maybe wade in the creek.

I had to postpone the Upper GI, since I just didn't feel up to it, but I plan on rescheduling for sometime next week. More info to come on that test and the results...stay tuned. :)

Down With The Sickness

2008-06-29T01:01:00.003-04:00

So...a few weeks ago, I started taking Chantix (spelling?) to stop smoking. I've smoked for around 12 years or so, and I really, really, really want (and need) to stop. This medicine is supposed to make you feel sick when you smoke, but so far, the only thing that makes me sick is the price of the prescription...ouch!

Anyway...around three weeks ago I was spending the night at Jessie's house (about two weeks into the Chantix medication), and in the middle of the night around 2 am, I woke up with this terrible pain in my stomach that went all the way through to my back. I tried changing sleeping positions, sitting up, walking around...but nothing would make the pain stop. Just when I thought I was going to have to wake Jessie up to help me, I ran to the bathroom and threw up. It was bad! It was one of those times when you are sick and you can't even come up for air between hurls. I ended up throwing up that nasty yellow stuff (bile), and kept dry heaving after everything was out of my stomach. YUCK! After I had gotten sick, my stomach/back pain was not gone, but it wasn't nearly as bad as it was before I got sick.

Jessie kept saying that it was the stop-smoking medicine making me sick, and I thought that if it was...the reaction was a little extreme. My stomach actually hurt to be touched, and that just wasn't normal.

A couple of days later, the same thing happened in the middle of the night. I was convinced I had a bad stomach bug. Three days later, it happened again. This time, it was worse than ever, and at 3 am, I had started getting dressed to go to the hospital. We had important people in at work from out of town, and this couldn't have hit at a worse time. Once I threw up, I felt better, so I didn't go to the ER. But, I did call the doctor in the morning to see him.

I teased the doctor and told him that I think I'm a closet bulimic, but he was convinced that it was either my pancreas or gallbladder. Several tests later, we found that my pancreas is fine, but I have big gall stones, and one is actually blocking the entrance from my gallbladder to my stomach. (Your gallbladder stores extra bile from your liver to help break down food when needed.) So, when I eat high-fat foods or lettuce (my #1 trigger for attacks), it tries to release the stored bile, and it's blocked from entering my stomach. Since it can't go into my stomach, it has to come up and out of my mouth. This causes the horrible pain and causes me to get sick.

I'm scheduled to get my gallbladder removed on Monday morning. I'll arrive at the hospital at 8 am, and the surgery is at 9:30. (If you happen to remember me during that time, please pray that I will be okay and that everything will be fine.) I'm having the surgery at St. Catherines Hospital in Charlestown. I know that they have a bad reputation, but my surgeon is really awesome. I love him, and my doctor says he's the best around this area.

I'm very relieved to know that very soon, I should stop being so sick all of the time. When I looked back at the past few months, I realized that the gallbladder issue is the root cause of why I have been eating tons of antacids, and feeling nauseous all of the time. This has been going on for the better part of 6 months or so.

On Tuesday, I am having an Upper GI procedure to see what is causing another problem I'm having where my food gets stuck in the middle of chest when I eat. I'm hopeful that this is not a big deal, and they can just fix it without another surgery this week. I've had this problem for probably a year and a half, and have just changed the foods I eat, and the way I eat to reduce the scenarios where this causes an issue. When this happens, the food starts to swell where it is stuck, and it feels like my chest is going to explode! I have to throw up to make the pain stop. Seems like I'm doing a lot of throwing up lately. :) I'll let you know what they find as soon as I get the results from the test.

I have a tendency to let things go until I just can't take the pain anymore. I really need to stop doing that. Now that I have a new, adorable doctor, I may just have to make more regular visits to see him. The bad thing is that when I saw him for the first time, I made the comment that I would need to find reasons to be sick so that I could have more doctor time, and then the gallbladder thing blew up! Be careful what you wish for, for sure!

If anyone is in the market for a new Primary Care Physician, I would highly recommend Dr. Hoke in Charlestown. He has a practice with Dr. French, and both doctors are really caring and kind. They are both super hot, too, so you can't go wrong! Delores Eickholtz works in their front office, and the nurses that I've had encountered are wonderful as well. I am very pleased with every experience I've had with their office. Tell 'em Cara sent you if you decide to try out their office. I think after I refer 10 new patients to them, I get a discounted surgery. I think I'll choose liposuction (in many places) or collagen lip injections. Maybe I can refer 20 people and get both. :)

Lauren's Blog

2008-06-04T18:34:00.003-04:00

My 6 year old daughter has started her own blog. Click on the "About Me" area to go to 'Pretty Princess Lauren's Blog'. I'm letting her type it, create the content, and spell words like they sound without my help. She's soooooo smart, and I love her soooooo much! She's a little Cara. :)

Check it out!

9 Galtinburg Gals...and a Boy

2008-05-22T17:03:00.005-04:00

We just arrived back home from a 6 day stay in Gatlinburg, TN. I am EXHAUSTED!!!

Here are the details:
ATTENDEES: Cara, Lauren, Landon, Jessie, Maggie, Heather, Hailey (Heather's daughter), Dee (my grandma), Linda (my mom), and Sharon (Heather's mom)

VEHICLES: Cara's Expedition, Sharon's Camry, Dee's Volkswagen (not sure which model...I think it's a Jetta)

ACCOMMODATIONS: Gatlinburg Falls 3-bedroom cabin with hot tub and game room complete with Golden Tee and Multi-Game (PacMan, Galaga, Donkey Kong, Frogger) arcade games, pool table, and air hockey table

Beth Spencer and her family stayed at Gatlinburg Falls a while back and loved it, so we decided to try it out! We stayed in the Altitude Adjustment cabin (http://gatlinburgfallsresort.com/cabin.php?cid=630), and the pictures on the website do not do it justice!!! I would highly recommend Gatlinburg Falls to anyone looking for a great, fairly inexpensive, quick get away within a few hour driving distance. I've stayed at other cabins in Gatlinburg, and this was the best one by far!!! At the cabin, there is a guest journal that each group that visits that cabin writes details about their stay. It was fun to see what everyone else did on their trips. Very cool!

The "big" things we did were go to the Ripley's Aquarium, Wonder Works interactive learning center, Sky Lift, and Space Needle. We also hit the flea market and outlet malls. Jessie and Heather got a special card and secret instructions to go to another booth to be taken "behind the walls" to buy Coach purses. It was a little too weird for me, so I stayed out with the kiddos.

We had a blast...see below pictures for highlights!

Sunday night, the grandparents (or "Adults" as we called them) watched the kids so that Jessie, Heather, and I could go out on the town. We decided to get tattoos.

Heather got this swirly flower design. Very cute! She already had the Japanese symbol for "Heaven".

I was a little jealous when I saw the cool blue color. I had already gotten mine, and it was too late for me to change my color. :(

Our tattoo artist, JR, used to have a shop in Scottsburg, IN. He knew exactly where we were from, and it turns out that we even knew many of the same people. It sure is a small world!!!

This is my tattoo. It's the Capricorn symbol. It's about 2 inches high and is in the middle of my upper back. I had planned on just getting it in all black, but JR said he wanted to add some color and shading. I had no idea what the finished product would look like, but it turned out great!

Jessie got her existing tattoo touched up. It's an ichthys (Jesus fish) with her mom and sister's initials in it. It looks great, but for some reason, I don't have any pictures of hers. I'll get them from Heather and add them later.

Jessie acted like it was no big deal to get a tattoo and talked and joked around while getting it done. I did okay, but toward the end when JR was adding the color up my spine, I got really sweaty and angry. It hurt really bad! They said I looked like I was going to punch JR in the face. :) Heather doesn't "do" pain, and ended up getting sick with only 30 seconds of work remaining. Bless her heart! JR had a really weak stomach, so I told him to get out of the booth while I helped Heather clean up. She's a trooper! I really like my tattoo, and am already thinking about what my next one will be.

On Tuesday, we took the kids to a little carnival type of place, and they had a great time. I even got to ride the train! Notice my super-cool Coach sunglasses...Heather swears they are real even though we bought them at the flea market.

Happy Mothers Day!!!

2008-05-11T21:13:00.008-04:00

Today, Jessie, Mom, and I decided to take the kids to visit Big Mommy (my great-grandma Martha) and my great-aunt Cris. They live in Austin, IN, and it is always an adventure taking a mini-roadtrip with the kiddos. I guess it is a small taste of what we will experience when we head to Gatlinburg on Saturday.

Jessie and I have always called our great-grandma "Big Mommy". We never thought that this was weird, but as we've gotten older, people look at us like we're crazy when we mention it. The story behind the name is when Grandma Dee was pregnant with my mom, Big Mommy was also pregnant with my great-uncle Roger. Big Mommy said that she wasn't old enough to be a grandma, so she would prefer to just be the "Big" mommy and Grandma Dee would be the "Little" mommy. It stuck, and I will never call her any thing but my "Big Mommy".

Big Mommy is an amazing woman. She is 86 years old, and looks amazing! She is so strong, and tells me that I need to look for a rich old man to take care of me. She also tells us to never let a man take advantage of us or treat us bad. She's says that men just aren't worth the headache. When you talk about someone with a flaw or baggage, she says "He has a spider in his dumplings". I love that phrase! She smokes a pipe occasionally, and used to carry a pistol in her purse. She's Hazard KY all the way!!! I hope I'm just like her when I'm older. :)

Big Mommy and all of her great-great-grandkids

My great-aunt Cris is an amazing woman as well! She's in a wheelchair, missing a leg from her diabetes. She's blind, on kidney dialysis, and is a breast cancer survivor. After all of the physical attacks she has endured on her body, she still has an unbreakable spirit! She is one of the most caring, loving people I've ever met.

This woman needs to write a book! She has never been married, and she says that it's a good thing. She could never imagine having to ask for permission from a man to do anything. She also said if a man were to lay a hand on her child, she'd kill him. :) I completely understand. When I got pregnant with Lauren and wasn't married, she called and made me feel so much better. She balances never being judgemental equally with telling you exactly what she thinks.

Her son, Steve, was born one day before me. Cris and Mom were pregnant at the same time, and when Cris called to tell Grandma that she had just given birth to a baby boy, Grandma was getting ready to leave to get my Mom to the hospital because she was in labor. How crazy is that?

A few months ago, she was in the hospital for kidney dialysis, and Jessie and I put on a little impromptu concert singing a handful of songs for her. I've never felt so good about my singing as when we sang for Cris. She loved it! I feel guilty that I don't see her more often. Jessie and I need to make a concerted effort to make the good ol' trip to Austin every chance we have.

Jessie and I are very lucky to be surrounded by such strong, smart women. They are truly examples of what independent ladies should be. The bar certainly has been set high for Landon with the women he has in his life. He'll have a lot of trouble finding a girlfriend/wife that we think is good enough for him. :)

On a side note, my friend Kent from work and his wife Kelly gave birth to a big ol' baby boy on Thursday. Baby Cohen was 9 lbs. and 21 inches long. He's a doll. How cool is it that Kelly is celebrating her first Mothers Day with her three day old son. :)

New momma Kelly is absolutely beautiful!

Proud papa

Happy Mothers Day to all! Be sure to treat all of the mothers in your life with respect and love every day of the year!

Cara

Kentucky Derby 2008

2008-05-05T22:16:00.005-04:00

I got to go to the Kentucky Derby courtesy of Heartland Payment Systems, the great company I work for. Here are some of the pics from the amazing day!!!

In the TARC bus on the way to the Downs

Me and my hot momma!

Our tent was right next to the red carpet...here is Carson Daly (he is super skinny in person)

This is Lennox Lewis...a boxer

We also saw Hugh Hefner's girlfriends, but I wasn't wasting the battery power to take their picture. Yuck!

MOI!

The view from our box

My momma

Me again

Me and the big boss...the "Marty"

The restroom trailers...oh yes...we even had lavish bathrooms!!!

We had a blast! A special thanks goes out to Mrs. Deola Haymaker for watching the kiddos! I have the best grandma in the world!!!

An Evening With The Bats

2008-04-27T13:18:00.005-04:00

We have some great season tickets for the Louisville Bats at work that the employees take turn using. We went last week, and the kids had a blast. They loved the lady that carries a basket of cookies on her head (sorry...no pics of that one).

The big Bat came out and started chucking baseballs into the crowd. Jessie and I covered up Maggie and Landon's head afraid they would be cracked in the nogin with a hard baseball, but Lauren wasn't scared. She caught a ball, and to Jessie and my surprise, the balls were soft. :) We then understood why everyone was laughing at us.

Lauren

2008-04-09T23:24:00.000-04:00

MyHeritage: Family tree - Genealogy - Celebrity - Collage - Morph

Landon

2008-04-09T23:23:00.001-04:00

MyHeritage: Family tree - Genealogy - Celebrity - Collage - Morph

Update in Pictures

2008-04-06T23:06:00.006-04:00

Landon so totally did not want to get any more pictures taken tonight

I wouldn't stop taking pictures...so he ran away :)

Lauren and Landon getting ready to color eggs

Lauren and Landon coloring eggs with Grandpa Scott's help

Lauren hunting Easter eggs at Grandma Haymaker's house

Landon's turn

Landon showing off his 4-wheeler and Lauren's driveway graffiti

Landon's GQ threads

Landon wearing Uncle Danny's helmet

The diva in training

Landon's Escalade and Lauren on Landon's 4-wheeler...both birthday presents

Landon and Lauren at Grandma Haymaker's house

Hola!!! Memories of PR...

2008-02-22T00:04:00.005-05:00

In the midst of this yucky ice storm, I felt compelled to reminisce about my recent mini-vacation to Puerto Rico where the weather was amazing! A couple of weeks ago, my boss asked if Robin and I wanted to go on the company trip to PR. Of course, we both jumped at the opportunity. Last year, they sent me on a cruise to Cozumel, Mexico, and I knew that when Heartland hosted a trip that they went all out!!!

Here are some views of the resort we stayed at...

Our room was way down at the bottom of the mountain near the marina. It took 30 minutes to get to our room from the lobby, but the view was amazing, and we were right next to the boat that you had to take to get to the private beach. They couldn't have picked a better spot at the resort for me, Erin, and Robin.

The view from our balcony. Breath-taking!!!

Robin and I on our first evening there. We are so cool!
Robin, Jeff (our sweet, adorable boss), and me at our Company Dinner on Saturday night. It had a pirate/treasure ship theme, and everyone got a sword, jewelery, and gold coins (all plastic of course). Maggie, Lauren and Landon loved all of the pirate booty I brought them back.
They were trying to recruit me to join their pirate gang.
Jeff and I on the boat ride over to the private island for dinner.

Jeff took us to a Japenese sushi place at the resort. If it weren't for him, I would have never fell in love with the stuff. He made me pop little fish eggs between my teeth. Very cool...they were sort of like rich-people Pop Rocks.
The resort was an hour away from the San Juan airport. This is a picture of Erin, Robin, and I on the comfy bus that took us around town.

We had a blast!!! Everytime it snows or we have an ice storm, I just pretend I'm back on the beach soaking up the sun and fun. :)

Tetris!

2008-01-04T20:32:00.001-05:00

For all you Tetris lovers out there... HOLLA!

A Must See

2007-11-18T21:52:00.000-05:00

I stumbled upon GodTube.com which is a Christian version of YouTube. This is an amazing video I found on there. I wasn't sure that it was going to be good, but by the end Mom, Jessie, and I were bawling our eyes out. I hope you are blessed when you watch it.

Back By Popular Demand

2007-10-29T22:28:00.000-04:00

Sorry for the delays in updating my blog...I have four really great stories to share.

Story #1:
Sunday night at Awana, one of our students had an accident and went potty in her pants while sitting on the floor (or so we thought). Tabby took her to her Mom, and then we proceeded to go to Story Time. When it was time to go back to our tables to say our bible verses, I sat down in a metal folding chair and thought to myself..."My, this chair sure is cold." Then, a few brief moments later I realized that I was sitting in pee-pee. I jumped up as Tabby began to laugh hysterically. I had to clean up as I dry heaved. I had to spend the rest of the night helping with the kids with wet, cold jeans. Ewwwww! Sometimes, it takes crazy things to happen to make you realize just how much you love the Lord and are willing to serve Him. ;-)

Story #2:
Sunday, I found that my ex-husband had dropped my kids off at his other ex-wife's house for her mother to babysit them. Needless to say, I was extremely ticked off. I believe that I was angrier than I had ever been in my entire life. Rob's ex-wife and her family are not the type of people that I trust to be around my kids, and I could not imagine what possessed him to fathom that this might be a good idea. While yelling at him on the phone about how he needed to get a clue, I said..."I'm so, so, so FREAKIN angry!" The people in my truck with me mentioned how proud they were of me that even at my angriest, I didn't use foul language. Again, this is something that months ago, would have been completely different. I wouldn't have hesitated to say exactly how I felt using whatever words popped in my head and out of my mouth. I think Robbie was even shocked that he didn't get a tongue lashing from me. We were able to work it out, and he promises to never, ever take my kids there again.

Story #3:
Each night I pray that God will put me in situations where I can witness and show people how I've changed. I had one of those days today. While sitting next to the owner of Heartland's daughter at lunch this afternoon, I picked up a menu that was on the table. As I started to look through it, I realized that it was an alcoholic drink menu. (I was hoping for desserts.) Corrie and I have ran around together in my past life, and she has seen the wilder side of me. She said something like "Are you going to have a mixed drink with lunch?" I told her, "I don't drink anymore." She laughed, and then the conversation at the table continued onto an unrelated topic.

After a few minutes of chatting, she looked and me and asked "Why don't you drink anymore?"

For a second, I thought that I might not get into details as to why I quit drinking, but then I realized that if I didn't tell the whole truth that it would be like I was denying that I knew God. I had prayed to be put in situations like this, and here I was doubting how to respond.

So, I looked at her and said "I'm going to church, and felt convicted to stop drinking." She just said "Hmm." I could tell that she was thinking it over, and was completely shocked for me to be so honest about giving up something that was just a way of life a few short months ago. I hope that a seed has been planted, and that I'm able to continue to conversation to explain more about the change in my life.

Story #4:
I admit it, I'm boy crazy. I love boys, and I love to flirt. Just because I'm serving the Lord doesn't mean that I lose or completely change my personality. ;-) Now, I just look for Christian boys to flirt with.

So anyway...I was shamelessly flirting with a guy at work today, and a new employee said "She's so crazy." My good friend Georgette (who I spent many crazy days and nights with in the past) said "If you think that's crazy, you should have seen her before she found the Lord." Even though she may have meant it to be a sarcastic comment, I really appreciated that people very close to me were able to see a change in my life.

So...there's my update. I hope that you guys enjoy this post! Continue to pray for me to grow in my faith and to walk closer to God. I'm a work in progress, and I'm far from perfect.

Cara

The Kiddos

2007-09-30T00:18:00.000-04:00

I stole these pictures from my pal Heather's blog. ;-)

Lauren and Hailey

The Cutest Little Boy In The World (Landon)

Friday Night...From Depression to Bliss

2007-09-16T15:29:00.000-04:00

Friday at work, I was relieved to have my no-kid weekend quickly approaching. However, I was ultra depressed that I would be spending my no-kid Friday all alone. Jessie was going on a date, Mom worked until 10, and there I was all alone. Jessie came over to my house to get ready for her date after work, and the entire time I keep saying things like..

I hate myself!
I'll be alone for the rest of my life!
Why doesn't anyone want to date me?
I'm going to drown my sorrows in this chocolate milk!
Etc.

Jessie found all of this amusing, especially because I've only been divorced for about three weeks now. I had two movies that I had planned on watching during my solo evening, and low and behold, my DVD player wouldn't work. I then shouted things like...

I hate myself!
Why can't things go right for me?
I'm a loser!
Etc.

I decided that I would just try to find something on TV and paint my fingernails. What a sad existence. :( Shawn picked Jessie up around 8, and shortly after they left, I received a call from my good friend Beth. She said she was thinking about going to the NQC after Isabella went to sleep. (PLEASE NOTE: Josh was home...she was not leaving her baby all by herself.) After scrambling to find something to wear, I fixed my hair and put my makeup on. Beth picked me up and we headed to the LOU to get our fill of some southern gospel action.

The NQC was sooooo much fun! Beth and I walked around the different booths, and she told me about alot of the groups. She told me who sang the songs that I would recognize, and we bought a few CDs. There were lots of interesting people walking around, and we came to the conclusion that God must have a really great sense of humor. ;)

We ended our evening by grabbing some fair-type food (nachos, funnel cake, lemon shake-up) and watching the groups that were on stage on the huge screen by the food tables. We got caught up on Jessie's date when she called, and made sure to let Jessie know that she should conduct herself in a way that she wouldn't mind if her date night was recorded and played in front of the church on Sunday morning. She said that Shawn was acting like a perfect gentleman.

Finally, around midnight or so, Beth and I finally left. We shut the place down!!! I really enjoyed myself, and appreciated that Beth thought about me when trying to find someone to go with her to the NQC.

Once I got home, Jessie and Shawn returned, and we stayed up talking with Mom until 2 or so. Shawn asked if he could have a juice bag, and I informed him to never say that ever again. He put a hurtin' on the kids' Caprisuns over the course of the evening.

I finally excused myself and hit the sack a little after 2. There is nothing better than sleeping with the windows open when it's cool outside. I love the weather we're having, and wish it would stay like this year round! Mom's birthday is Thursday (9/20), Junior's is the following Monday (9/24), and then Lauren's is shortly thereafter (9/26). I've got lots shopping to do, and I can't wait to have their parties!!! I can't believe Lauren is almost 6. It seems like yesterday that I was pregnant with her, and now, she's a prissy, girly-girl that is the smartest child alive. I'll try to get some pics posted of her very soon!

Thanks for stopping by the blog...TTFN.

Recent Happenings

2007-09-10T21:11:00.000-04:00

It's been a while since I've updated the blog. Sorry to keep everyone waiting. I 'll try to never let it happen again.

Recently, Lauren took a broom into her room to clean her fan. While she was on the bed, she lost her footing, and fell off. My mom and I were in the living room and oblivious to any of this. Lauren came into the living room and told us about the fall, and said that something caught her when she lost her footing. She looked us so seriously and asked us what had caught her and keep her from hurting herself. My mom and I looked at each other with wide eyes, and the only thing I could think to tell Lauren was that every night we pray for protection over Landon and Lauren, and God is watching over her. Crazy stuff!

A few days ago, my good friend Jessica Durbin sent me a text message with a challenge that she was facing, and asked me to pray. I felt privileged to be asked to pray for someone. It may not seem like a big deal to some people, but it made me feel great!

Special thanks to the Spencer crew for moving Jessie's stove and refrigerator to my house. They are a great group of guys. What would I do without the Spencers in my life?

TTFN.

My Co-Parent

2007-08-16T23:06:00.000-04:00

I attended my Trans-Parenting Class tonight, which was the last step to complete before the divorce is final. It was lot of the same message for 4 hours, but I did learn that the new term for "ex" is "co-parent". After hearing some of the horror stories in the class, I felt fortunate that Robbie and I care so much for our kids. We have joint custody and no one pays child support. We split expenses 50/50, and we have it written into our divorce papers that we will agree to holiday schedules outside of the courts. The kids love their dad, and I know that he loves them, too.

My relationship with my "co-parent" has been tense lately. It's mostly my fault. I get ultra-emotional when it comes to the kids, and I am very defensive when I think that they may not be put in the best situations.

Robbie has said that there is no way that I'm a born-again Christian. He has been the one that doubts me the most, and while I try my best to convince him I've changed, he just doesn't buy it. It breaks my heart to have someone question whether I am serious about my Christianity...I mean, it really hurts.

I really want Robbie to see the change in me, but I don't help things when I yell at him. I pray for him every night, and pray that he will have peace in our situation. I hope that he finds a church that he really likes and starts going. He's a really good guy, and just needs to control his temper. I miss the "sweet" Robbie, but definitely fear the "mean" Robbie. I love him very much, but know with every ounce of me that we cannot remain married. When the relationship took a physical turn, it was time to pull the plug.

I'm definitely not one to seek marriage advice from, because we didn't follow God's command at any point in our relationship. It seemed doomed from the beginning based on the way that it started. We were blessed with two wonderful, amazing children that I thank God for. They are the best kids in the world, and I can't imagine my life without them.

A chapter in my life is getting ready to end, and I'm really kind of sad. Please continue to remember me and my family in your prayers. I really need strength and guidance in my life, now more than ever.

'Til the Storm Passes Over,
Cara

Recent Tests Thrown My Way

2007-08-14T20:00:00.000-04:00

Who knew that life wouldn't be perfect after following the Lord's will? HA! Just teasing...

I recently found out that the smallest life events can prove to be a test in the walk of a Christian. When shopping at Walmart for school supplies, I picked up a coupke of t-shirts for Lauren. Later that night when unpacking and sorting through the bags, I noticed that two pink t-shirts were folded up together. After checking the receipt, I realized that I was only charged for one. I knew that I needed to go back and pay for the t-shirt that I had not been charged for.

A couple of days later, I went back to Walmart to pay for the shirt. The lady at the front door assumed I was returning something, and when I told her that I was actually back to pay for it, she looked at me like I was crazy. I did a little shopping, paid for the shirt, and also a pool with some extra floaties. When I loaded the back of the Expedition with the stuff I bought, I noticed that there were three floaties under the pool that I hadn't paid for. I couldn't believe that in trying to do the honest thing had resulted in the very same situation. I quickly handed them off to a lady pushing cars into the store and said "I didn't pay for these". She looked at me like I was crazy, but took them anyway. Before, I would have just chalked it up to being overcharged in past visits and kept all of the items that I wasn't charged for.

It's weird how my mentality has completely changed. The Lord is leading my footsteps, and I'm trying to not resist. I pray everyday for his direction and help in my decision making because I know that I can't trust myself to know what to do without His help.

Keep me and my family in your prayers. I don't mind to be on the "Sharing and Caring" prayer request board now. ;)

I've Been Through "The Change"

2007-07-28T01:26:00.001-04:00

I am happy to announce that within the past month, I have rededicated my life to the Lord. It's true. I'm a new person. I thought about deleting out my old blog posts because they reflect a person I never want to be, and I'm embarrassed of the way that I was. However, I decided to keep them to show the true turnaround in my life.

In the last few months, I have been through some really hard times. As a result, I'm going through a divorce again. I've started attending the Christian University classes on Finance at Charlestown Independent Church on Wednesday nights. Now that I will have a truck payment and mortgage to pay all by myself, I need to make sure that I am spending and saving money wisely and ensure that my kids are taken care of.

Last Sunday at church, Jessie, Beth and I sang "Through the Fire". I've never been touched so greatly by a song as when I first heard that one. I was incredibly nervous, and it is a testimony in itself that I didn't pass out when I stood before the congregation. I think we did okay, and I know that people were touched by the message in the song. The CIC Chicks are busy looking for their next collaboration, and I think that we may have found it. I would tell you what it is, but then it would ruin the surprise. I guess you'll just have to be at church that Sunday to hear it.

I want to thank my grandma, mom, Jessie, Beth, and the countless others that have been praying for me over the last few years. I'm glad to be back. ;)

Happy Fathers Day!!!

2007-06-17T17:21:00.000-04:00

It's Fathers Day everyone! Such a wonderful day. It makes me think about my father/s, and I want to spend a couple of minutes talking about each of them...

Roger - My Biological Father:
My mom got pregnant with me at a young age by a man several years older than her. I was a mistake. While I grew up knowing that I was adopted, it wasn't something that was ever discussed. When I was 19 or so I decided I wanted to meet Roger. The meeting was a little awkward. I mean, what do you say to your "real Dad" who never was in your life? After getting to know him and my two half-brothers, it still felt weird. I needed everyone on that side of the family to realize that I will never call Roger my dad. He wasn't there for me when I fell down and hurt myself, or when I was sad or happy, or anything. He was a nice guy that seemed like he had lived a hard life. I realized after meeting him how different my life would have been had he raised me. He has a completely different set of standards and view of life than my dad did, and I wouldn't have turned out to be the same person if he had really been my dad. I was appreciative to him for giving me life. I was glad that he didn't try to talk my mom into having an abortion. I was also glad for him staying away and not making me confused growing up. I hope the best for him and his family. But, he will always be Roger to me.

Steve - My Dad:
As an adult, I look back on what my Dad did when he adopted me at 2, and realize how tough that must have been. I wasn't his child, but he loved me like I was. Dad always instilled the need to be fair and balanced, and that the devil was in the details. I turned out to be just as stubborn and hard-headed as he is, and he made me the professional go-getter that I am. I owe alot to him, but I can't help but hold onto some hostility for the way that he treated my mom. He isn't a huge woman-fan. I don't speak to him anymore, and haven't seen him in years. It's unfortunate that the kids don't have a grandpa, but they have plenty of grandmas to go around. I do love my Dad, and hope he is doing well.

Dave - My Ex-Stepdad:
I wasn't a huge Dave fan, but he was a nice guy. He was willing to help everyone, and the kids loved him. I was relieved when Mom finally split up from him, because I thought she deserved better. I hope that Dave finds someone who will make him happy, as long as it isn't my mother.

Scott - My Mom's Boyfriend:
I like Scott. Scott is very sweet and very good to my mom. He works hard, he has good, strong morals, and he isn't a taker. I would welcome him to be my next Dad. It is kind of weird that he is the same age as my husband. I have a feeling that if he and my mom were to get married, I would see him more as a friend rather than a parent figure. I'm okay with that. Landon loves him. That makes me feel good too.

Rob - My Baby Daddy:
Robbie is a good Dad. I'm glad that I've given the kids a wonderful father figure. He is sensitive with Lauren in addition to being ultra-protective, and he snuggles with Landon, even when he is being very bad. He is wonderful to Gary and Amber (his other kids), and I love him for the way he parents. I'm hard on him to be a positive influence in the kids' lives, but I know that he does great on his own without my help. I think because his parents died when he was young, he has always wanted to have a big, happy family. He's got it! It's a circus around here with all the kids running around, but Rob takes it in stride. I love him more and more each day. I'm looking forward to the day when Lauren's first boyfriend comes over to take her out on a date. I sure wouldn't want to be that guy! Rob is going to scare the pants off of all of Lauren's dates, for sure!!!

Lawrence - My Grandpa Haymaker:
Grandpa is a good man. He's strong and good. Grandma and he are in love like a couple of teenagers. It's kind of gross, actually. In a sweet way, of course. Grandma tells the story about Brother Jones giving a sermon on "taking from the church" at Main Cross. Mike Doss dressed up like a burglar with a mask on to run into the church and pretend to rob it of the money in the offering plates. The other ushers had to hold Grandpa back from tackling the robber. It makes me so proud to have a fearless Grandpa who isn't afraid of anyone or anything. I love him, and I love having him for a Grandpa!

I've had a blessed life, and I am appreciative of everyone who has shaped me into the person I am today. Happy Fathers Day to you and yours!

-CGZ ;)

After the Long Wait...Updates~Finally!!!

2007-05-14T22:15:00.000-04:00

Okay, so maybe blogging isn't my thing. Over the last few months lots of things changed...

I got married. Well, I guess I always was married. But, I renewed my relationship with Mr. Gaines. After all of the struggles with the lawyers over finalizing the property, I asked him if he would go out with me. After keeping me waiting a while, he reluctantly agreed to have "movie night" with me. We decided to get back together, and then he dumped his girlfriend. HA! She never had a chance with me in the picture.

Rob and I both changed in our time apart, and I think that we both realized that we actually want to be together. For a long time, it seemed like we didn't have a choice and were stuck with each other.

For the last few months, Rob and I have been moving my stuff from my apartment to our house. Sometimes I take my lunch break and pack some stuff or we'll move stuff over the weekends. There isn't too many things left at this point, and I think we'll be able to finish up next weekend.

I got picked to go on a cruise with work to Key West and Cozumel Mexico. Rob and I head out at the end of this month. It's like our second honeymoon. Aren't we just the sweetest. I bought a few new sundresses and (of course) a couple of new tube tops. I can't wait!!!

Jessie needs a date. I'm on a mission to find some single hottie to hook her up with. Beth says that she doesn't need to date missionary style. I was a little confused by that statement, but apparently it means that she should date someone who is already a Christian instead of someone not saved. I think it sounds dirty. Boring, but dirty.

Lauren and Landon are getting so big. Rob buzzed Landon's hair, and now he looks like a big boy. Lauren is going through a clumsy stage, and with all of the cuts and bruises that she currently has, I'm afraid they are going to think I beat her. But, if you know how I am with Lauren, she will never get a spanking from anyone. Landon, on the other hand, is a wild man. He's always yanking out handfuls of Lauren's hair and smacking/kicking her. His favorite word is "NO", and he is the most stubborn child I've ever encountered.

Okay, so there's my random thoughts at the moment. A current snapshot of what is going on around me is...Rob is running through the house teasing Landon by taking his popscicle, and Landon is screaming "NO!". Landon is now throwing his paci on the group, beating his chest, and yelling "MINE". My goodness, he's a handful. Lauren in laying on my lap, and singing a song from Barbie's Princess and the Pauper. Gary is playing XBox and just trying to get some alone time away from the other two kids. I'm typing this blog instead of catching up on work e-mails feeling guilty about slacking. Just another normal evening in the Gaines' household. Now, I should probably jump off of here and go play kissy face with my new husband. Or my old husband. Or whatever. I gotta go make up for lost time. ;)

Cara in da house!

2007-02-18T22:31:00.000-05:00

Sorry for the long delay in posts. Quite a bit has changed in the last few weeks. Here's the quick run down...
George was mad at me. Now she's not.
Mom won a trip to Hawaii and took my Grandma Dee instead of me. I still love them both even though I was dissed.
We had a few changes in the Training Team, but as of March 1st, we will be fully staffed for 2007.

And the latest, most exciting news...
After almost a year of separation from Rob, I think we have finally decided on a Property Settlement Agreement. Woo-Hoo! I'll be moving back into my house within the next 2 months. I'm planning on staying there for many, many years! How exciting! I cannot wait to have my house back. Please carve out some time in your schedule in early May to help me move out of the apartment and into the Hizouse! I'm specifically looking for big strong men that don't mind breaking a sweat. ;)

"Sharing" The Gospel

2007-01-24T22:06:00.000-05:00

I accidentally stumbled upon a Christian TV channel one evening where I was introduced to a seemingly sincere and humble group of singers called "The Crabb Family". I was blown away by the emotion and soul that comes across in their voices, but only caught the very end of their last song performed. Not being much of Christian music fan, I decided to do a little research on the group to see what their bigger hits were in order to download them to listen to the complete songs. I found that some of their earlier music is a little too hard-core bluegrass and wasn't really up my alley. However, some of their newer stuff was really appealing. I downloaded some tunes, burned a CD, and listened to it in my car, at work, and at home. I was slowly turning into a huge Crabb Family fanatic!

Last night, I was checking out their website www.thecrabbfamily.com, and I somehow stumbled onto an older article with a quote from Jason Crabb regarding a Supreme Court ruling that upheld the unlawfulness of piracy and downloading/sharing music files. Jason says "I commend the Supreme Court on their stand to protect individuals who draw their income from the music and film industry with today's ruling. I pray the world takes time to educate themselves on the subject of 'file sharing' and the depth of its effect on the world of music. Most people think when they 'file share' it only takes the standard $15 out of the Crabb Family's pocket, but they don't think about my father, who mainly writes our songs, our mother, our wives, our husbands, our children, the dedicated friends who run our office, our bus driver, and so on. This is our life, as well as our livelihood." (Article can be found at http://christianmusic.about.com/od/musicnews/a/aagmasupreme.htm)

At first, I was really ashamed of downloading their music based on his "sob story", but then as I got to thinking, my mindset changed. First, I admit to downloading their music, however, this sin resulted in several album sales for them by me. The year I discovered The Crabb Family, I went out and bought three of their CDs, and gave them to my mother and grandmother for Christmas. I wanted to turn more people onto this group, and increase their fan base. (Yes, I know I am the greatest fan anyone could have.)

Secondly, I can't believe that folks like Jason Crabb and Steven Curtis Chapman are throwing their two cents worth in on supporting piracy laws. The institution of God has created an ultra comfortable lifestyle for many artists and evangelists. I would presume that if an individual feels a calling from the Lord to enter the ministry full-time, they aren't exactly seeing dollar signs. I know alot of full time preachers that make ends meet, but don't have the financial luxury to live extravagantly. Money doesn't always accompany a life dedicated to "sharing the gospel". That's the way it goes. It's not fair, but it's life. And like I love to say, "Sometimes life just isn't fair."

If the goal of people in the ministry is to share the gospel, then they should do just that. "Share" the gospel. If file sharing software like LimeWire and Napster are helping you reach people that you wouldn't normally reach from inside of a church, I would think this would be a good thing. Actually, it's a great thing. If a non-Christian isn't watching TBN or shopping at the Christian bookstore, maybe downloading a Christian song is just the thing to aid someone in turning their heart toward the Lord.

My last point is that most non-believers aren't going to spend their precious spread-thin money on a CD of Christian music when they aren't sure what they are getting. I would think that people that dedicate their lives to the ministry of doing God's work would want to openly spread the good news, not charge admission to hear it. Mark 16:15 (KJV) says: "And he said unto them, Go ye into all the world, and preach the gospel to every creature." If music is a way to minister to every creature, why do the artists care if they get paid to do so. Wouldn't it make more sense to follow the Lord's command for your life, and trust in Him fully that he will provide what you need? Sometimes what we need isn't always what we want.

Perfect example is that I (the bad, despicable Christian music pirate) found a concert that the Crabb Family is doing in Louisville on March 16th, and in turn, told all of my friends, family, and coworkers about. So far, we've got around 10 people going, and by the time March rolls around, we will have many, many more. Chances are that the folks that attend the concert (based on me "sharing" the news of the performance) will be compelled to donate in a "love offering" to the Crabb Family, and will more than likely give much more than that $15 CD would yield in profits.

You never know, I might even buy a CD after the March 16th concert. Or I might just continue rocking my pirated CD, knowing that in my heart, I did not download the music with an intent to hurt any member of the Crabb Family, nor their father, mother, wives, husbands, friends, and tour bus driver.

Is this lawsuit really simply a ruling that this country will penalize someone for wanting to hear a song for free? Is today's file sharing any different than taping a song off of the radio on an 80s boom box? Don't Christians complain that the government is taking God out of our country by removing the 10 Commandments from courthouses and outlawing prayer in schools? In my opinion, Christians that don't want people downloading their music are aiding this country in silencing the believers. People, wake up. Sharing the gospel shouldn't come with a cost associated.

(This blog is copyrighted and protected under the blog piracy ruling. Copying or sharing of this post will result in fines and/or prison time.) Just kidding...I had to throw that in there. Live and love, friends!

That's Just Jessie

2007-01-03T22:31:00.000-05:00

Since Jessie is on me all of the time to update my blog, I'm going to dedicate this entire post to her. That's what you get for being so pushy ;)

My sweet cousin, Jessica Shay Smith, is a good girl. We've been close since the minute that she was born. She's always been full of energy and has been very strong. We used to fight all the time, in a loving way of course. However, it was so bad at one point, my Grandma Dee refused to take us anywhere together. My mom wrecked her car into the basketball pole in the Main Cross Church parking lot one time because she was turned around reaching into the backseat trying to break me and my girl up from an especially brutal scrap session. I ran her head into the wall when she wouldn't clean. She nearly broke my thumb slamming the phone on it, and I tried to shove her into the crisper drawer of the refrigerator.

Ahhhh, such good times. She moved away for college. I moved in with Robbie. I had a kid and I got married (in that order). She moved back to Indiana. She got married and had a kid (in that order). She got divorced. She started dating. I got divorced. I'm still waiting for that first date. ;)

We're probably closer now that we've ever been, which is hard to imagine since I've always considered her to be my sister more than cousin. Even with our special bond and similar upbringing, we couldn't be more opposite if we tried. I've put together a little comparison below, and I hope she embraces and celebrates our differences.

1.) She wants to get married and live the fairy tale life with picket fences, butterflies, and puppy dogs. Probably a farm with lots of flowers and plants that she can tend to when she passes time. She wants to make sun tea and fried chicken and deliver it in a perfectly coordinated picnic basket to her hard-working man on a tractor in a field, while her kids are perfectly content cross-stiching their monogram into their pillowcases, just like she taught them.

I don't want to get married again, and love being single. This is the best time of my life. I wouldn't change anything at this point, and I'm not looking to be tied down by another man, ever. (Keep in mind that this single difference between Jessie and I cause the most drama in our relationship.)

2.) She wants lots of additional kids, whether she gives birth or marries her dream man whose wife died and left him with 6 young'ns to raise. She is excellent with kids and sets up special "Cookie Baking Day" parties, she buys the coolest snacks, and all of the kids in the family want to always go to Jessie's house.

I love my two kids, but don't want anymore to raise. My tubes are tied and cut, and that will never change. My dream man doesn't want kids of his own or has kids in their twenties. I would prefer to end up with someone without little kids.

3.) Jessie is very domesticated. She loves to make things. She sews, paints, makes crafts, cooks, cleans, and makes a mean gingerbread house.

I'm not very crafty, but I can cook when I have to. I would prefer to pull pre-made food from the freezer and throw it in the oven for every meal.

4.) She is a homebody that enjoys hanging out at her house watching movies and making homemade popcorn and sweet tea. It doesn't bother her to never go out on the town. She is perfectly content never having a babysitter on the weekends. She likes to go to bed early (before 10), and readily offers to watch my kids when I want to go out.

I only stay home when I have my kids, and once Landon has some age on him, I'll probably be dragging them out all of the time, too. I love staying out late on my "no kids" weekends, and dragging myself home around 5 a.m. I can have parties at my house, but I usually convince everyone to go out when they assemble at my place. I love mixing and mingling, and could be on my death bed, and still go out. (FYI - Jessie reluctantly agreed to go out with my on New Year's Eve, but then made me take her home at 11 p.m. Of course, I headed back out after grabbing my karaoke player and some CDs.)

5.) Jessie is 5'2" and blonde.

I'm 5'10" and usually a brunette. (People say we look so much alike, and we find that so amusing. I call her my twin.)

Obviously, we have lots of differences, but we both love to laugh, tell stories, and sing. I always have a great time when I hang out with her, even when we don't go out. And if even if she won't admit it, I think she has a good time when I drag her out with me.

I would like her to be more willing to kiss random boys, and not always think about whether or not they would make a good mate prior to doing so. I would like her to show off her assets a little more since she is very buxom and built like a brickhouse. I would like her to throw away every furry and/or fleece vest that she owns. I would like her to not forget about herself as she takes care of everyone else around her. I would like her to live a little before she looks up and realizes that her life has passes her by.

I really just want her to always be happy and to always be my best friend.

I love you, Jessica! You complete me.

I'm A Loser, Baby!

2006-12-07T21:11:00.000-05:00

For some reason I felt like a loser at the Holiday Party...

Before and In Progress

2006-11-23T22:16:00.000-05:00

We have a weekly newsletter at work, and they did an article on me and my Losers Club team. I'm happy with the changes that I've seen in my physical appearance over the past couple of years. The tummy tuck and breast reduction helped, but I have a long way to go. Below are my "Before" and "In Progress" pics. Please don't make fun of my body builder pose from the current pic.

Who I Am vs. Who I Want To Be

2006-11-12T22:11:00.000-05:00

I had a revelation yesterday. In order to understand completely, I should probably fill you in on some background info first...

Since the big split in the Gaines household, I've actually found time for myself! This may seem very simple, but I had gone so long taking care of my husband, kids, stepson, and grandma-in-law (who lived with us) in addition to working a bazillion hours a week that I forgot to care of me. So for the past 8 months, I've enjoyed the fun stuff...my stuff...the things I wanted to do. My girls and I would spend every other weekend visiting some of the best hole-in-a-wall bars to sing, dance, socialize, and flirt. It was the life! I met a ton of great people and reconnected with a few old faces.

So, this weekend, Georgette and I took a road trip to Indy to catch a Hinder concert. It was amazing, and I realized that G cannot ever chew gum in a general admission/standing room only type of concert. That poor girl will never get that gum out of her hair...anyway...

This particular part of Indy is close to a few colleges, and there were clubs in every direction as far as you could see. After we rocked out, we decided to hit the club that T.C. (the bouncer that we shamelessly flirted with to get the best view of the concert) recommended. Peppers was a really cool place, and they were playing great dance music. G and I took a seat on a couch by the entrance to do our usual people-watching, and after a few minutes, we realized that average age of the club-goers was 21. We felt old. We decided to cut out early around 1 a.m., grabbed some late night fast food, and finally retired to our cheap hotel room to catch some z's. We drove home the next day, shopped at the outlet mall, worked out at the company gym, and planned on hitting the big city of Louisville that night. All was well. Before I left work, I needed to grab my laptop. I thought I would log in and catch up on my e-mails, and low and behold, I felt compelled to do this "personality" survey that Jessie had sent out.

The results were eye-opening. Go ahead and take a look, and then I will share my revelation.

Advanced Global Personality Test Results

Extraversion		80%
Stability		40%
Orderliness		70%
Accommodation		43%
Interdependence		43%
Intellectual		16%
Mystical		36%
Artistic		16%
Religious		30%
Hedonism		83%
Materialism		76%
Narcissism		76%
Adventurousness		30%
Work ethic		83%
Self absorbed		63%
Conflict seeking		90%
Need to dominate		90%

Romantic		16%
Avoidant		70%
Anti-authority		36%
Wealth		56%
Dependency		36%
Change averse		23%
Cautiousness		56%
Individuality		30%
Sexuality		83%
Peter pan complex		36%
Physical security		70%
Physical Fitness		24%
Histrionic		76%
Paranoia		70%
Vanity		76%
Hypersensitivity		63%
Female cliche		76%

Take Free Advanced Global Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

Well, we all know that I am extroverted and dominating, so that's nothing new. But, I was shocked at all of the categories that I scored high in related to being "into myself". Am I really self absorbed and care only about my feelings and needs? Do I use my looks to get what I want? Is that really who I am or who I want to portray?

I recently had a person that I admire and trust more than most people in my life say three things to me (in three separate conversations)...
1.) You act younger than you are.
-and-
2.) You are too blunt, and should learn to be more subtle.
-and-
3.) People think you are so confident, but you really are unsure of yourself.

Those statements coupled with the results from my survey kicked me in to self-analysis overdrive. I decided that it was true that I was living a little too wildly and running too much. While I live for my kids, this whole equal time sharing crap with Rob isn't cutting it. I realized that maybe the reason that I am so anti-romantic could stem from the fact that I want to appear strong and fearless, but deep down I'm afraid of letting go and becoming emotionally attached to someone, only to have my feelings trampled on. Maybe the reason that I am attracted to younger men is because I don't really want someone who will hold me accountable for being an adult. Maybe the reason that I look for blue-collar guys is because I don't want to have to compete with someone who may be more intellectual than me. I might not want to be attached because I don't want to get hurt.

I decided that it is time for me to finally grow up. I still am holding steadfast that I never, ever want to get married again, but it probably is time to move into pursuing some healthier relationships with the opposite sex. I don't know...going on a date sounds nice. Carrying a "thinking" conversation with someone is a novel idea.

The weather is also an influence on this change of heart. During the summer, everybody is wild and crazy, and then when it gets colder, it feels good to stay in and cuddle with someone special. Dang the winter!!!

So, I decided to wear a "Soccer-Momesque" sweater and dress slacks out Saturday night, and I forced Georgette and Faith into going to the "Wrinkle Ranch" a.k.a. Jim Porter's to have some adult fun (minus the time spent shaking our butts on the dancefloor). I felt happy to have done some "grown-up" things on my no-kids weekend, but it is still a work in progress. Georgette has assured me that being an adult doesn't mean I have to lose my personality, humor, and goofiness. I might just have to be funny during a rowdy game of Scattegories or Trivial Pursuit rather than Strip Poker or Kings.

Now, I'm on a mission to fill my no-kids weekends with some adult-ish fun. I'm thinking blues bars or Salsa dancing. Maybe when Beth and Josh move back they will bring some social coordination to the church scene. As long as they don't throw "Couples Only" get-togethers, it's on like Donkey Kong.

I need to check with Georgette to see if I can still say "It's on like Donkey Kong" as an adult. I certainly hope so. It's a staple phrase in my vocabulary.

Pics From the Making Strides for Breast Cancer Research Walk

2006-10-24T21:35:00.000-04:00

Below are some pictures from the Heartland Team that participated in the Making Strides for Breast Cancer Research 5K walk.

The Ride to the Walk

The Pre-Walk Smoke

The Heartland Team

Warming Up

Hoofing It...Power Walkers Unite!!!

The Recovery Period

It was a great time! I would encourage everyone to join in next year, even if you aren't a Heartlander...

Weigh Cool

2006-10-23T21:51:00.000-04:00

I'm glad that my blog has done some good in the world. I want to give a shot out to my friend, Beth, who is joining the body sculpting challenge. Once she is in the great Hoosier state, I will have a new workout buddy. I can't wait!

I participated in the 5K Breast Cancer walk yesterday, and it was so much fun! I didn't even feel like it was exercise. Special thanks to Kat, David, Eddy, Corrie, Jessica, Bob, Teddie, Georgette, Heather, J Dub and kids, Erik and wife, Maria and kids, Alex, Angie, KeeKee and Tarayah for joining me. I'm convinced that by next year I'll be able to run it with 1 year of dedicated exercising under my belt. I'll let you know how that goes.

I'll get some pics from work and post them.

Mission Possible

2006-10-15T22:48:00.000-04:00

I work at a fantastic company, Heartland Payment Systems. Our CEO has created a "Fitness Club" for all interested employees which consists of free salads daily for lunch, aerobics classes (my fav is Hip-Hopercize by Tanika of TNT Fitness), and a state of the art fitness center packed full of the newest and best weight training equipment, as well as a Playroom for the times that you have to bring the kiddos along to your workout sessions. We are tracking our weight loss, and at the end of the 20+ week contest, members of the club have a chance to win either an all expenses paid vacation to Hawaii, tickets and a trip to the Superbowl, or a $5000 gift card for a new wardrobe. Our company is very good to their employees.

The days of making excuses are over. It is time to lose weight, get fit, stay lean, and live longer. One of my coworkers, Teddie, has convinced me (somehow) to meet him at the gym at 5:30 a.m. tomorrow morning to workout before we have to report to work at 8. I'm not sure how he talked me into participating in this early morning torture session, but I've committed to being there. Thanks to Corrie, who selected the equipment, I will be utilizing muscles tomorrow that I didn't even realize I had. I'm hopeful that this time around, my body will not go into such shock, and I won't feel quite such a burn for the next few days. Please don't make me relive the left calf incident from last week. I hobbled around for days until finally, my leg didn't feel like a "Charlie Horse" was coming on.

When the exercise starts paying off, I'll be sure to post some "After" pics. There is a skinny girl instead just dying to get out and strut her stuff.

Pics of the offspring

2006-10-10T23:06:00.000-04:00

I've been asked by my lovely grandmother, Dee Haymaker, to add some pictures of my children. Fine...here you go. Enjoy!

Landon: The Early Months

Landon: Now at 18 months

Lauren: The Early Years

Lauren: Now at 5

I'm Not Mean, You're Just Stupid

2006-10-10T19:40:00.000-04:00

Back by popular demand, it's me, Cara G. It's pronounced 'care-uh'. Don't even come at me with 'car-uh' or I'll smack you right through your face. No, just kidding. Or maybe not. It's really a tough call with me sometimes, and I recognize that I am a meanie.

I am on a mission to be nicer. Vanilla Nice-that's my rap name. No, really...I have realized that I am a great big ball of fire, and I'm good with that. My moods swing like the rope (not the pole) that Georgette hurt herself on. Maybe it's the stress (see previous post) or maybe it's just that in my older age, I'm growing more and more weary in dealing with petty issues. Come on, we're all adults here. Let's face the facts that there are just some really stupid people in the world.

Okay, I feel much better now. On to more interesting topics...like the "Cara Fever".

I don't want to reveal too much about this serious affliction, but let me tell you brothers and sisters, it is real. I think it's my innate ability to remain aloof and emotionally unattached. I can get the boys to come a'runnin'. It's insane! Maybe it's because I joke and make 'em laugh and make them feel so good about themselves, and then I just get up and walk away to talk to someone else more interesting. I don't know. It must be a challenge to see if they can actually snag me. Sometimes I tease and hold my arms out in front of me, moving them up and down, saying "I am the Puppet Master", but sometimes I wonder if I really am. It's too bad most lie about having girlfriends (or worse...wives), but either way, I am so not looking to date. I'm fresh out of a 7 year relationship, and I sure don't want another headache. I'm very content just being single, happy, free, and independent. If you ever hear about the "Cara Fever", just know that sometimes it lays dormant, but it always results in periodic outbreaks, and there is no cure.

I love being me ;)

Eat That Frog

2006-10-05T21:02:00.000-04:00

Alrighty, folks. What are we up to? Post #3? After a 12-hour day at work, I would like to focus today on time management (or my lack thereof).

Ever feel like you are going a bazillion miles a minute? Ever feel like you have been thrown in deep water without a second to swim up to the surface to take a quick breath? Ever want to just throw your hands up and say "I GIVE UP!!!"? Well, friends, I hear ya!

I've had a busy past couple of days at work, well, actually a busy past couple of years. My job is fantastic, and I love the work I do, where I work, and who I work with. I don't think I'm so naive to say that I'm a lifer, but I certainly see myself at Heartland for the next 10 years or so. I look forward to getting up and heading to work. My team is absolutely amazing, and I am so proud that I am associated with such fine folks. I think it's probably rare to find people at my age who enjoy their careers as much as I do.

By the time I'm home from work, I barely have enough time to cook dinner/eat, help Lauren with homework, bathe the kids, and put them to bed. It's amazing how I find time to post on here, check my MySpace, send a few hotboxes on LouMojo, check my personal e-mail, check my work e-mail, and send text messages. I avoid Yahoo Messenger like the plague, because it seems to suck up all of my free time when I do login. Gosh, I wish I wasn't so popular. ;)

I read a book a few months back regarding time management called, "Eat That Frog". The premise of the book was that we are faced with a bunch of ugly frogs every day. Some small, some huge. It's best just to tackle the biggest frog, and get that one out of the way, and then focus of the little stuff. E-mail is probably my biggest time drain at work. I get approximately 250 e-mails/day, and most of them require research or some gifted, inspired, politically correct response. I wish I didn't have to spend so much time sugar coating and making recipients feel warm and fuzzy, but that's the name of the game sometimes. Today, I stayed late just to put a dent in my e-mails, but I didn't even get half of what I wanted to get accomplished.

Rob (the soon to be ex-husband) always said that work was my life. I was quick to correct him that in reality, my kids were my life, and work was just a way to buy them all of the things I wanted them to have. He always was a tightwad. My career was a contributing factor to the demise of my marriage, but not in a negative way as you might have suspected. By growing in my career at HPS, I was able to become self-sufficient. I can now provide for my kids on my own, while still maintaining a very comfortable lifestyle without a second income.

So, thank you to HPS for paying me, and thank you to me for working my butt off. And thank you to all of the readers who have just read my never ending ramblings. And thank you to Chinatown Buffet for this wonderful chicken fried rice I have consumed while writing this post. Now, where is that fortune cookie?

Peace and love.

Church Observations

2006-10-03T23:15:00.000-04:00

Please let me preface this blog by saying that I hope to not offend by the following thoughts, but I felt compelled to capture this and hopefully let my readers see things from a different perspective than they may be used to.

Girls and boys, I want to talk about church in today's blog. I've recently returned to attending church after a long hiatus. I was raised in church, and stayed in church until I moved out of my parents’ home as a teenager. I left church for many reasons, and don't so much feel like getting into that stuff today, but I do want to review a few of the observations since I've returned.

People love to talk about the good stuff. I often hear testimonies about miracles that God has done through healing, returning good medical test results, and making bad situations better. I think we should all realize that God isn't a genie granting wishes. You should still testify and believe even when that sickness lingers and when the test results that come back are discouraging. When that kid of yours is still out living the wild life and isn't listening to your direction as a parent, you should still be willing to testify that even though things are rough, you still believe there is hope. If we all focus of the good stuff, when bad stuff comes along (and it definitely will), we won't know what to do. Life sucks sometimes. That's the reality. To me, the true test of a Christian is how they handle the bad stuff.

Everyone's not happy. I cringe when people want to voice how great their life is in church. I think we should all realize that we have people in our church going through some really hard times. We should all be sensitive to the trials that our members and visitors are facing. Of course, everyone will clap when you want to praise your life and the blissfulness that you feel, because we're genuinely happy for you, but it's also easy to get down on your own situation when it looks like everyone around you is living a perfect life and having such an easy time with things. For example...I'm happy that your son was accepted to Yale. However, the lady next to me has a kid that just dropped out of high school. I am happy that your marriage is fantastic and your husband is your hero. However, me and the guy in the pew in front of me are both going through nasty divorces. I'm happy to hear that you got the biggest promotion of your career, but the gentleman 3 rows over is struggling to find a job to feed his kids and provide medical insurance for his family. I'm not saying that we should never speak of good things, but we should all be cognizant that people around us are hurting.

Sometimes the best presenters aren't professionals. I love nothing more than to see a person who doesn't claim to be a "singer" get up and belt out a tune that is coming from their heart, even though they may hit a sour note from time to time. Some of my best memories of singers at church include Bill Nichols and Peg Burden getting up and singing the Lighthouse song a cappella. I can see clearly the vision of Peg with that gorgeous, beaming smile (even as she sang) with Bill looking up as if to sing directly to God. They meant every word that came out of their mouths, and everyone in the building could feel it. Whew, I get goose bumps just recalling that memory. I love when Leigh Ann King testifies. She isn't boastful, and is very nervous, but every word that she says comes from her heart, and you can tell that if she didn't get up and speak, she would just explode. I can remember testimonies that my own grandfather, Lawrence Haymaker, would deliver. Even as a kid, I recognized that he wasn't a man of many words, so when he stood in church to say something, a hush would fall over the crowd to hear what this quiet man had to say. His words were impactful and again, heartfelt. These are the memories that made an impression on me.

I miss those days. Our church had a very humble beginning in a machine shop. We would get there early to roll out the carpet that covered the oil stained, concrete floor and setup folding chairs in rows. And likewise, at the end of each service we would all fold up the chairs and roll up the carpet so that the next morning, the machine shop could resume business as usual. What happened between those two events can never be recreated. The few members in the early days are still considered as the prayer warriors of the new church. As the church grows and the fancy buildings are constructed, we shouldn't ever lose sight of the original vision. Truth, Sincerity, Belief, Values, Honesty, Caring, Encouragement, Strength...these are the key words that I learned which served as my life lessons during the early days of the church. I am very blessed to have been raised up in that environment and having made the lasting relationships with church folk that feel more like family to me. I miss those days.

Me...YAY!

2006-10-02T00:13:00.000-04:00

By the way, here's the most recent pic of me. Helps to put a face with a blog ;)

How cute! It's a brand spankin' new blog...

2006-10-01T23:08:00.000-04:00

Howdy, all! I've noticed recently that all of the "cool" people are creating and maintaining blogs (namely Beth Spencer who is the most awesome person I've ever met {next to Jessie Smith who is automatically the coolest person I'm related to because she is so much like me, just a little nicer}). I'm definitely not one to allow my personal level of coolness to drop, so I'm joining the blog revolution. My life isn't extremely interesting, and I don't have a cause that I am fighting for, but I do love having an audience. I wouldn't say I'm shallow or attention-craved. I'm just extremely extroverted, and get completely energized interacting with other people.

For those of you that may be reading this and asking yourself, "Who in the world is this blogger?", please allow me to provide a little insight into where I am right now in my life.

I'm in the process of going through a divorce. Before you even start in about the sanctity of marriage and how I am a horrible person for leaving my husband, let me assure you that I honestly could not care less about what you think. Trust me, I have Deola as a grandmother. She doesn't sugar coat, and I've been beaten up enough about it over the past few months. I'm sorry if I am a disappointment to those that believe you should stay in a marriage, no matter what trials and tribulations may come. I'm a quitter. I recognize that. I own it. I embrace it. I celebrate it. I'm just not marriage material. I absolutely hate having to ask for permission and I don't like making decisions as a team. I don't need another Daddy, and I don't need anybody to help me make my dreams a reality. You may think I sound like a whinny, selfish brat. If so this is for you..."I'm rubber, you're glue. Whatever you think bounces off of me and sticks to you." HA! There...take that! Okay, so enough of the defensive divorcee babble for now.

My two amazingly brilliant children are Landon-18 months and Lauren-5. Lauren is Cara Jr. She is sassy, independent, strong-willed, and stubborn and doesn't let "No" stop her from getting what she wants. She's a little more sensitive than I am, but I blame that on her age. She never meets a stranger. Lauren brings so much joy into my life, and I really feel like her friend in addition to being her mother. I bought her a set of SpongeBob "Best Friends" bracelets for her birthday, and told her she could take one to school and give it to her best friend. She said that she wanted me to have it, since I was her best friend. If I were more girly, I would have cried. Instead I threw the pink bracelet on my wrist and wore it proudly with my suit to work. In 10 years, when we are fighting about her trying to date or stay out past curfew, I'll put that bracelet on to remember that at one time in our lives together, she actually considered me to be her best friend.

On the other end of the spectrum is my boy. Landon is needy, clingy, and shy. His personality is the complete opposite of mine. He refuses to go to Nursery Church every Sunday morning since I'm not there. What can I say? He loves me more than anyone else, and I like that. I never could see myself with a son before he came along, but now that I have him, I can't see myself without him. Lauren and I are very close, but there is just something special about a Mother/Son relationship. He definitely is a Momma's Boy. I hope that some of the clinginess will fade a bit as he gets older, but over the past year and a half, I haven't seen much relief in sight. Feel free to pass along any tips if you've experienced this situation with your kids.

For the first time in my short 27 years, I am living on my own. I know...it's pathetic. I never realized that I had taken so many little things for advantage living with my husband for the past 7 years. I have been faced with killing spiders and adjusting water heater temperatures. I've unclogged drains and used a cordless drill. I hooked up the PlayStation 2 and hung a shelf. I configured and secured my wireless router. Heck, I even broke into the bathroom when Lauren and Landon accidentally locked us out of it. Being on my own is scary and exciting, all at the same time. I've mastered renting an apartment, so the next challenge is finding, buying, and moving into a house. A house! A real house! A house that is all mine! My next big goal is buying a house within the next 6-12 months. I would love to stay within the Utica Elementary School district, because Lauren is just doing so great there, but I don't know that I really want to stay in Jeff. This is a work in progress, and I'll keep you updated on any developments in this area.

Okay, so now I'm boring myself. I think I've typed enough to help you understand what I'm thinking right now. Thanks for sharing my first blog. I sure hope you will come back for more.