I attended my Trans-Parenting Class tonight, which was the last step to complete before the divorce is final. It was lot of the same message for 4 hours, but I did learn that the new term for "ex" is "co-parent". After hearing some of the horror stories in the class, I felt fortunate that Robbie and I care so much for our kids. We have joint custody and no one pays child support. We split expenses 50/50, and we have it written into our divorce papers that we will agree to holiday schedules outside of the courts. The kids love their dad, and I know that he loves them, too.
My relationship with my "co-parent" has been tense lately. It's mostly my fault. I get ultra-emotional when it comes to the kids, and I am very defensive when I think that they may not be put in the best situations.
Robbie has said that there is no way that I'm a born-again Christian. He has been the one that doubts me the most, and while I try my best to convince him I've changed, he just doesn't buy it. It breaks my heart to have someone question whether I am serious about my Christianity...I mean, it really hurts.
I really want Robbie to see the change in me, but I don't help things when I yell at him. I pray for him every night, and pray that he will have peace in our situation. I hope that he finds a church that he really likes and starts going. He's a really good guy, and just needs to control his temper. I miss the "sweet" Robbie, but definitely fear the "mean" Robbie. I love him very much, but know with every ounce of me that we cannot remain married. When the relationship took a physical turn, it was time to pull the plug.
I'm definitely not one to seek marriage advice from, because we didn't follow God's command at any point in our relationship. It seemed doomed from the beginning based on the way that it started. We were blessed with two wonderful, amazing children that I thank God for. They are the best kids in the world, and I can't imagine my life without them.
A chapter in my life is getting ready to end, and I'm really kind of sad. Please continue to remember me and my family in your prayers. I really need strength and guidance in my life, now more than ever.
'Til the Storm Passes Over,
Cara
Thursday, August 16, 2007
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
Recent Tests Thrown My Way
Who knew that life wouldn't be perfect after following the Lord's will? HA! Just teasing...
I recently found out that the smallest life events can prove to be a test in the walk of a Christian. When shopping at Walmart for school supplies, I picked up a coupke of t-shirts for Lauren. Later that night when unpacking and sorting through the bags, I noticed that two pink t-shirts were folded up together. After checking the receipt, I realized that I was only charged for one. I knew that I needed to go back and pay for the t-shirt that I had not been charged for.
A couple of days later, I went back to Walmart to pay for the shirt. The lady at the front door assumed I was returning something, and when I told her that I was actually back to pay for it, she looked at me like I was crazy. I did a little shopping, paid for the shirt, and also a pool with some extra floaties. When I loaded the back of the Expedition with the stuff I bought, I noticed that there were three floaties under the pool that I hadn't paid for. I couldn't believe that in trying to do the honest thing had resulted in the very same situation. I quickly handed them off to a lady pushing cars into the store and said "I didn't pay for these". She looked at me like I was crazy, but took them anyway. Before, I would have just chalked it up to being overcharged in past visits and kept all of the items that I wasn't charged for.
It's weird how my mentality has completely changed. The Lord is leading my footsteps, and I'm trying to not resist. I pray everyday for his direction and help in my decision making because I know that I can't trust myself to know what to do without His help.
Keep me and my family in your prayers. I don't mind to be on the "Sharing and Caring" prayer request board now. ;)
I recently found out that the smallest life events can prove to be a test in the walk of a Christian. When shopping at Walmart for school supplies, I picked up a coupke of t-shirts for Lauren. Later that night when unpacking and sorting through the bags, I noticed that two pink t-shirts were folded up together. After checking the receipt, I realized that I was only charged for one. I knew that I needed to go back and pay for the t-shirt that I had not been charged for.
A couple of days later, I went back to Walmart to pay for the shirt. The lady at the front door assumed I was returning something, and when I told her that I was actually back to pay for it, she looked at me like I was crazy. I did a little shopping, paid for the shirt, and also a pool with some extra floaties. When I loaded the back of the Expedition with the stuff I bought, I noticed that there were three floaties under the pool that I hadn't paid for. I couldn't believe that in trying to do the honest thing had resulted in the very same situation. I quickly handed them off to a lady pushing cars into the store and said "I didn't pay for these". She looked at me like I was crazy, but took them anyway. Before, I would have just chalked it up to being overcharged in past visits and kept all of the items that I wasn't charged for.
It's weird how my mentality has completely changed. The Lord is leading my footsteps, and I'm trying to not resist. I pray everyday for his direction and help in my decision making because I know that I can't trust myself to know what to do without His help.
Keep me and my family in your prayers. I don't mind to be on the "Sharing and Caring" prayer request board now. ;)
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